To My Son On His First Birthday

On Sunday, my baby boy turned one year old. I’ve been a mother for one year! It all feels surreal and sobering for me. When I found out I was pregnant with our son, I remember feeling a massive sense of responsibility. I wanted to prepare myself as much as possible, but often wondered "how?" As I researched and devoured books on parenting, I came across a quote that I think about often, "You're the perfect mother for your baby."

As I celebrated my son’s first birthday, I felt immense gratitude that God gifted me the gift of my son so that I could be his mother. I thought about what that meant to me. As a new mother, I have prayed more than I have ever prayed in any other season in my life. I often pray for wisdom and insight. I pray for my little boy, I pray for our family, and that God will guide us as we raise you to walk in your God-given purpose.

I reflect on the special moments over the past year, like the day you were born, and the day we brought you home from the hospital. When I held you for the first time, following my emergency C-section, it was the only time I felt a sense of calm that day. You were here, and you were safe, and you were ours. I think back to the first few weeks where you would lie in my arms for hours, sometimes you slept, other times you nursed, and others you would look up at me with those bright eyes of yours.

I think back to your first Christmas, Easter, plane ride and first visit to the zoo (by the way, you loved the Giraffes, but had no interest in the lions). I think about your happy personality and the sound of your laugh when you play with your big sister. I think about how loving you are with your tiny hugs and open mouth kisses. I think about how intensely you say “Da Da” when you’re speaking to your dad, and how much you enjoy riding on his shoulders. I think about your little hands when you grab my face, and the strongwilled furrow of your brow when you’re trying to figure something out. I think about how much you love music and how easy it is for you to get a tune. I smile at the way you joined in when we sang "you Happy Birthday” at your party a few days ago. You’re quick to smile, wave and engage with others, and I wonder how did I, the introvert, end up with such an extroverted baby boy.

I think about the tough moments of the first year. The tears, yours and mine. The worries, visits to the doctor, and second-guessing. Your father’s calm and experience kept us smooth sailing this past year. Thanks for being patient.

As you grow, I will continue to cover you in prayer. Affirm and encourage you. We will continue to seek wisdom in molding you to be God’s very best.

Happy Birthday my son, Mommy loves you very very much!